I wasn’t really aware how difficult it had been for women in the generations prior to mine. The extent of the inequality. I grew up in a time where inappropriate behaviour was made light of and cancel culture didn’t exist. So when woman started to talk about the me too movement, my education around feminism began. Prior to that I was quite defensive and stood behind my stance of not tarring all men with the same brush. To a degree I would still say that, but I have definitely come to realise that men and women have very different mindsets and moralities. Of course I know there are women that are just as dysfunctional, but statistically far less.
I was born in the sixties and grew up in a home where infidelities had been normalised and ‘staying’ regardless, was also normalised.
I adored my Dad, but he was definitely a chauvinist. So to some degree I had first hand experienced of dysfunction. Growing up this way didn’t make me think cheating was acceptable, but I did forgive partners for many unforgivable things, numerous times. I dare say that came from my mother ‘staying’ throughout the indiscretions. Instead of rebelling against those traits, I too subconsciously normalised them.
~This is one of those times I’ve often written about where I feel like I am being too transparent. Actually I think I wrote about it in my last blog, so I won’t do so again, a girl can only appease her guilt so many times ~
The outing of the imbalance of equality has become far more focal. The bear or the man analogy, really got me digging deep as well. I looked back over my life and thought about all the times I had been put in positions by men, where I was compromised. There were many, ranging from inappropriate behaviour, intimidation, ridicule, aggression, solicitation by older men as a minor, to be honest I could go on and on.
There was even an occasion when I was twelve, walking to school an older man exposed himself through a fence. He was known to police and arrested. All of these things I’d put out of my mind. So when I really thought about it, I realized, it might not be all men , but it really is a lot of men. And the men that become defensive at being part of the comparison, should direct their contempt where it belongs. With men. Instead of turning a blind eye to inappropriate behaviour men need to make a stand, call it out, step up.
I asked my partner when he had ever felt scared or in a situation with a woman where he felt out of his comfort zone. Rarely, was his answer.
I would be remiss if I did not mention Gisele Pelicot’s story.
It recently came to light that there is a secret telegram group of 70 000 men who are sharing tips and methods of how to drug and sexually assault partners, and strangers. That speaks to the magnitude of the mentality of men who have no issues with harming women. Again, not all men but a lot of men.
All around the world there are atrocities against women, those we know of, those we have no idea of. But women are really starting to rally, and they need to, because there are men, who still want women to be in the background. As a human race we seem to be regressing on so many levels, but women have definitely found their voice and losing it again, doesn’t seem to be an option. As Gisele Pelicot said ‘shame must change sides’.
The near future will definitely be interesting, telling times ahead, women are angry, and with good reason. I can’t see women taking a backseat or being delegated to the benches ever again.